What makes it bearable
by Janey Lukas
Summary: Chapter 5 up. Rory visits Logan in London and he has a surprise for her. Taking a break to work on other stories.
1. Chapter 1

**_Summary:_** Rory visits Logan in London (after season finale) and he has a surprise for her.

**_Disclaimer:_** I don't know anything,except the caracters I made up.

Please read and review, tell me if its been done before. Be kind, 1st fanfic. Thanks

**_What makes it bearable_**

* * *

Rory stared at the man who stood there in the doorway. 

"You ready?"

Rory awoke from her trance.

"Almost, but maybe you could tell me where we're going so I can dress appropriately."

"No it's a surprise."

* * *

The two parked on the street of a nice neighborhood. Rory was still thrown off by the fact the cars drove on the wrong side of the street. Logan opened her car door, he extended his hand to help her out of the car. 

"Milady."

Rory giggled like a school girl. Logan closed the door behind her.

" Now I think its time to tell you what we're doing here." He paused, to see if there were any objections from Rory. There weren't. " In that house is the one person that has made this separation from you possible."

"Who's in there, your favorite hooker?" Rory laughed.

The look on Logan's face showed he was not in a joking mood.

"Sorry." Rory mumbled.

The two proceeded to walk up to the house. The house was a classic London home, brick face, bay window next to the door, low brick fence with ironbarson the top, and a small yard in the front. Logan opened the iron gate and motion for Rory to enter first. She did, although it was dark she could stilltell that there were flowers planted in the front yard, which smelled heavenly. Logan passed her and rung the door bell. The pair waited in silence till the door opened.

"What the hell are you doing here." The woman who opened the door said. Rory was taken aback a little, but then the women smiledand laughed a littlethen leaned forward so she and Logan could exchanged a friendly kiss on the check.

"Well it's about time, we were just about to eat our hands." She moved aside as she said this and Logan entered the house, Rory shyly followed.

"Eisley, this is Rory, my girlfriend; Rory this is Eisley, uh... an old friend."

" So, this is the amazing Rory. Well I am so glad to finally meet you." She held out her hand to Rory; Rory took it and shock it.

" Do you want anything to drink? Soda pop, beer, wine? Pick your poison." She directed this comment towards Rory.

"Red wine, if you have it."

Eisley nodded and she led Logan and Rory through the house. The décor was modern/country/classical, and Rory thought that it worked for the house. They walked in to the living room where Eisley departed and Logan sat down on the sofa, as though it were his own. Rory followed suit and the two were soon rejoined by Eisley, who had in hand two glasses of wine and what looked like a glass of scotch. She handed the scotch to Logan and a wine to Rory. She walked over to the stairs, and called up to the second floor for someone.

"Noa, guess who's here?"

Rory heard someone thundering down the steps, she saw Logan put down his glass and stand up. As he did a little girl ran in to the room as she did the girl yelled:

"Daddy!"

She ran into Logan's open arms. Logan picked her up and spun her around, her feet flying free of his body. He hugged her and kissed the top of her head as the two slowed to a stop. All Rory could do was watch in amazement.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Summary:**_ Rory's reaction to Logan's surprise.

_**Disclaimer:**_ I own nothing, but Eisley and Noa.

_**Note:**_ Italics are Rory's thoughts.

_**What makes it bearable**_

* * *

"Noa, guess who's here?" 

Rory heard someone thundering down the steps, she saw Logan put down his glass and stand up. As he did a little girl ran in to the room as she did the girl yelled:

"Daddy!"

She ran into Logan's open arms. Logan picked her up and spun her around, her feet flying free of his body. He hugged her and kissed the top of her head as the two slowed to a stop. All Rory could do was watch in amazement.

Logan and Noa sat down next to Rory. Noa held out her wrist to show the bracelet she was wearing to Logan.

" Who gave that to you?"

" Liam. He said… what did he say, mummy?"

" 'Such a pretty girl, should have pretty things.'" The little girl nodded

"Well I have to agree with Liam. You are the prettiest little girl I've ever met." The little girl was very adorable. She was small, she had Logan's hair -- except that hers fell into soft ringlets all around her head -- and her eyes were not the chocolate that Logan's were, rather, they were a hazel much like her mother's. As Logan tickled the little girl, Rory shifted her gaze over to Eisley. Eisley was smiling at the scene in front of her. Oblivious to Rory's dismay.

"Excuse me, where's your bathroom?" Rory pleaded for rescue from this horror.

" Down the hall, next to the kitchen." Eisley said pointing in the direction of the kitchen. She followed Rory with her eyes, watching Rory, who was try to restrain herself enough so that she didn't sprint out of the room in fear. No, not fear, terror; shock. When Rory reached the bathroom she closed the door and locked it, sitting on the toilet. She sat there in silence, _'Why did he not tell me about her, both hers; Eisley and that girl…Noa. Who names a little girl Noa. Why…'_ Rory was cut off by a knock on the door.

"Rory… are you okay in there?" It was Logan on the other side of the door. Rory stood up, as she did, she caught her reflection in the mirror. She hadn't noticed but she had been crying. She opened the door. There was Logan leaning against the wall. He entered the room.

"You've been crying?"

"Yeah, guess I was."

"Look, I'm sorry, I should have told you before." Logan dropped his gaze, "You're the first person I've told. My dad and mom don't know, my sister doesn't know, not even Colin and Finn know and they're friends with Eisley." He took her hands as he

pleaded, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be…" Rory paused, " No, you should be." She allowed herself to release her anger, "Logan we are together, this is not just a casual thing… I love you." Rory felt not only like she was trying to convince Logan of that fact, but also herself; at that moment she felt her life fall to pieces. The two stood in silence not speaking, not touching, all Rory wanted to do was be free of this place.

"Do you want to go home?" Rory nodded, but she couldn't go out and face them now. "Hold on," Logan said as he left the room. Rory waited contemplating everything that had happened. "Okay, let's go." As the two walked towards the front of the house Rory noticed that neither Eisley nor Noa were there; she was happy, she couldn't face them, she didn't want to face them, not now. Rory's manners kicked in as she reached the front hall.

"Thank you for having us." She shouted as they walked out of the house, not waiting for the answer. Maybe she could never face them.

* * *

Rory sat by the window. She watched the street below. The people below lived their lives as they wanted; they were not thrown into situations that they had not planned on being in. She didn't want to have a step-child; it was just supposed to be her and Logan. She was the one who was supposed to have his children. '_His children. Their children.'_ Rory had not really thought greatly on whether she wanted to marry Logan, they had always just live in the now. Could she be Logan's wife even if he had Noa? Was Logan going to choose Noa over her at some point? Why them, hadn't she and Logan been through enough? Should she leave? Why was she staying? Rory turned to the bed in the room, there was the reason why she stayed: him. Logan's body lay motionless, asleep on the bed; Rory stood up, closed the curtains, and walked to the bed. She pulled back the sheets and climbed in; as she lay back on the pillow she turned, and snuggled up to Logan's chest and drifted off to sleep listening to his breathing.

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_

I have decided not to make this an one-shot do to the fact that I received many reviews saying not to end it (only reason I did was because I have APs coming up and may not be able to continue writing, right know I am avoiding an English paper so… ). The "…this is not just a casual thing…" is from last weeks episode ( Super Cool Party People) I thought it felt right there. I know this does not satisfy your need to know how Eisley and Noa came to be in Logan's life but I have the next chapter which explains it all. Hope you enjoyed it please review.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Summary:**_ Rory learns the story.

_**Disclaimer:**_ I own nothing, except Eisley and Noa

_**What makes it bearable**_

* * *

Rory sat by the window. She watched the street below. The people below lived their lives as they wanted; they were not thrown into situations that they had not planned on being in. She didn't want to have a step-child; it was just supposed to be her and Logan. She was the one who was supposed to have his children. '_His children. Their children.'_ Rory had not really thought greatly on whether she wanted to marry Logan, they had always just live in the now. Could she be Logan's wife even if he had Noa? Was Logan going to choose Noa over her at some point? Why them, hadn't she and Logan been through enough? Should she leave? Why was she staying? Rory turned to the bed in the room, there was the reason why she stayed: him. Logan's body lay motionless, asleep on the bed; Rory stood up, closed the curtains, and walked to the bed. She pulled back the sheets and climbed in; as she lay back on the pillow she turned, and snuggled up to Logan's chest and drifted off to sleep listening to his breathing.

* * *

"Do you want to talk about it? What do you want to know? I'll tell you everything or nothing; your choice, Rory." Logan stared at her from across the table, his eyes desperately wanting to tell her everything. But, at that moment Rory was not going to give him the satisfaction.

"Go on, go to work. We'll talk when you get home." She said without glancing at him.

"Are you sure?" She nodded. Logan slowly got up. He opened his mouth as though he wanted to say something but changed his mind. He turned and left. She was all alone, by herself, solitary. She, herself stood up, got dress and left the apartment. There was something that she had to do.

* * *

Rory stood there staring at the gate. That gate, which she had entered last night unaware of the lion's den behind it. In she walked free of choice, she had to do it, she had to, despite the feeling in her stomach, she had to. As Rory walked to the door she felt like she was signing away her life. Before Rory could notice what she had done, she had rung the door bell and heard footsteps behind it. The door opened, there standing behind it was Eisley; without words the two women knew exactly what was to unfold in the next moments. Eisley moved aside for Rory to pass, Rory taking a bold move walked directly into the living room and sat down, Eisley followed. She did not look up at Rory, nor Rory, her.

"What do you want to know?" Rory lifted her gaze to her, and for the first time Rory truly took in what Eisley looked like. She was taller than Rory, her hair a red-brown, that as Rory watched changed its highlights as the sun hit it differently – gold, copper, blonde almost black, then again a brown-- her eyes – the most captivating part of her – were a green hazel, her face was soft, kind, and unafraid of what was to come, like she had been preparing for since Noa was born.

"Everything." Eisley breathed in.

"I was a friend of one of Colin's girlfriend's, she convinced me to go to a party, one night during high school, where I met a very drunk Logan Huntzberger; there was something there. It wasn't like there were fireworks or anything like that; we just liked each other's company. We were kindred souls." She watched Rory for any indication of a reaction. "I think at moment in time we were searching for reasons for…everything, anything, nothing. There was never anything romantic in the beginning, it was just support. We were friends, just friends. Then the loneliness got to us; you know the loneliness that ou can feel eating away at you, until there's nothing left. Even though we had people around us constantly-- Logan always had his girl of the week-- we were lonely. We never could communicate that loneliness to other people, just each other. If that makes any sense." She stopped and walked back to the kitchen. Rory followed not wanting to miss a beat. Eisley poured herself a glass of water and offered one to Rory. Rory shook her head no. Eisley continued. " We were alone one night, and… things happened. We weren't drunk or anything. It wasn't passion, love, or lust, it was need; the need to be close to someone, to be close to someone that understood us completely, such a fundamental feeling. That wasn't when Noa was conceived, no. She happened later." Eisley took another deep breath, "We went off to college, we went on our ways. 'Each his own.' Then Logan's dad started asking Logan to go to London for the weekend, to get him use to what was to happen to him after college. And on the weekends we met up, we talked, we listened, we sat in silence and sometimes we met our needs. This went on for a year or so, freshmen year, then summer came. Logan spent the last of summer with me. That's when Noa came about, she was born after the end of my sophomore year. I didn't tell Logan, he didn't even know I was pregnant. His dad didn't send him to London as much and every time he was here, I said I was busy. I told him at the end of the summer that year, before school started, that was the year he took off to travel, to deal with what I had told him. He wanted to be a part of Noa's life, he wanted to help, but he didn't want anyone to know." Rory was about to ask why, when Eisley continued. " I mean, how would that have looked: 'Heir to the Huntzberger fortune has bastard child at twenty.' I understood. So we told no one; not even my dad knows who Noa's father is; Liam knows but he's the only one. Logan would come once and awhile, when he could. And now that he's in London, he sees Noa at least four times a week. He's become a really good dad." Logan a dad; the thought to Rory was very strange. He was a dad, and he would always be a dad.

* * *

_**Author's note:**_ Sorry it took so long to get the story of Noa up, but I wanted Eisley to tell it, not Logan. Please read and review I have a feeling that some of you may not like the whole "needs" thing, but in my development of Logan, it's important.And sorry about the closeness of the lines it's double space on compuer but didn't show up here.Please review. 


	4. Chapter 4

_**Summary:**_ Logan thinks of what he'd do without Rory (Rogan, so Rogan)

_**Disclaimer:**_ I own nothing, except Eisley, Noa and Liam.

_**Note:**_ Italic's are Logan's thoughts.

_**What makes it bearable**_

* * *

"…Logan would come once and awhile, when he could. And now that he's in London, he sees Noa at least four times a week. He's become a really good dad." Logan a dad; the thought to Rory was very strange. He was a dad, and he would always be a dad.

* * *

Logan sat there in the dark apartment. _'Rory's gone. Where would she go?'_ There was a noise in the hallway, Logan stood and dashed to the door he thrust it opened. _'Rory?'_ No just the old woman who lived down the hall, who had dropped her purse trying to find her keys. _'Where could she be?'_ Logan had truly started to worry. She hadn't left a note, called his cell or his secretary; her clothes were still here, so she didn't go home; but she had more clothes at home. Logan had called her phone, it rang in the bedroom. Logan sat there, he couldn't move he was a wreck. _'If she leaves, I … I'll … I don't even know. Come back. Come through the door with that smile on your face. Please Rory, please.'_ Logan pleaded silently to himself. She was his world, his life, his love. He couldn't go on with out her. As Logan sat in the dark apartment, he began to cry. He hadn't cried in a very long time, but the thought of losing Rory was just too painful, even to think about. _'I should have stayed, I shouldn't have gone to work, I should have stay with her and explained everything.'_ What was the use of thinking of what he should have done, she was gone, there was nothing that Logan could change about that now. He needed someone to talk to, he needed to release, he needed someone to understand. Logan felt the hours pass, they felt like eternity. The phone rang. Logan thought he heard the phone ring. Did he really hear the phone ring, was he imagining the ringing? It rang again. He scrambled to reach it. He didn't want her to hang up because it took him too long to reach the phone.

"Rory?" Logan could hear the panic in his own voice.

"No, Logan it's Liam." He paused waiting for Logan to give some sign of recognition. "Uh … Eisley's boyfriend?" He question whether or not Logan remembered who he was.

"Oh, uh, yeah, hi. What is it?" Logan's voice turned bitter, he wasn't sure if it was because Liam was preventing him from worrying about Rory, or the fact that he was Eisley's boyfriend. Logan wasn't jealous, was he? No… no he liked Liam, he liked that Eisley was happy. He was bitter that he couldn't think of Rory. Logan turned his attention back to Liam.

"… and Eisley just want to know if you were still up for that." _'Crap, what did he say?'_

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Eisley wants to know if you and Rory wanted to go to Noa's pre-school's 'Come and meet the class' picnic day?"

"Uh… I… I don't know. I'll have to talk with Rory about it. When is it?"

"Wednesday at one thirty in Coram's Field. Okay?"

"Okay, bye." Logan didn't wait for Liam's goodbye and quickly hung up the phone. _'Where is she, come back, be in my arms; I'll be safe with you, and you, me. Please, Rory please. I didn't plan my life this way, if I had the choice it would have just been me and you; but they're in my life…in yours. I know that it will be hard for you to except, but please… I'm yours for all eternity.'_ Logan stopped himself before he broke down in to even more tears. He tried to compose himself again, swallowing back the tears, Logan heard the door open. He stood up and turned to face the silhouetted figure standing in the doorway. "Hey."

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_ I really like Logan; I think that he's an interesting character. That's one of the reasons I started this fanfic, because I think Logan has this untold life. I was going to have Rory or Eisley call but I though Liam would be a nice neutral character. And no I'm not going to have Logan and Eisley get together, I don't think ( I am a total Rogan fan). Also I don't live in London, so if the park I picked is completely wrong someone correct me. Hey, can someone help me out with something (stupid I know but…) how do you pronounce Matt Czuchry's last name (a friend thinks it's 'zuck-ree')? Thanks for the help, please review. 


	5. Chapter 5

_**Summary:**_ Logan and Rory talk it out.

_**Disclaimer:**_ I own nothing, except Noa, Eisley and Liam.

_**What makes it bearable**_

* * *

'_Where is she, come back, be in my arms; I'll be safe with you, and you, me. Please, Rory please. I didn't plan my life this way, if I had the choice it would have just been me and you; but they're in my life…in yours. I know that it will be hard for you to except, but please… I'm yours for all eternity.'_ Logan stopped himself before he broke down in to even more tears. He tried to compose himself again, swallowing back the tears, Logan heard the door open. He stood up and turned to face the silhouetted figure standing in the doorway. "Hey."

* * *

"Where were you? I was worried sick about you." Logan moved cautiously towards Rory, she stood there in the open doorway not saying a word. "Say something." Rory stepped into the room. She shut the door behind herself. Dropping her things on the floor, she walked to Logan. She stood there facing him, then to Logan amazement she threw her arms around him.

"If you ever need someone ever again, I'm your girl." Rory voice was muffled by Logan's chest. But Logan could still hear her and took up in his arms. The two stood there with each other in the dark. "Logan, I know everything and its okay." Rory pushed away from Logan's chest. She put her hands on his tear stand face. "I'm here through it all, you need someone to talk to about 'the loneliness', I'm here; the troubles with your dad, I'm here; for everything I'm here; for your mental and physical needs, I'm here." Rory pulled his face down towards her. She saw him for who he was, he was not the little boy who listened to his father even if it meant leaving his girlfriend, no he was a boy trying to be a father, the best that he could. "I want to be with you, forever. I don't need a piece of paper to tell me that, Logan I'm yours. I love you, completely, and if that means that I have to share you with Noa, I'll do it, because Logan, I can't imagine life with out you." Logan pulled her in to a kiss. They had not shared a kiss like that since Honor's wedding. Rory felt Logan giving himself entirely to her.

* * *

Rory stared up at the ceiling. She felt the cold reach her through the sheets, Logan had gone to the bathroom. Pulling the sheets higher over her chest, she ran over all that happened with she and Logan in the past thirty-six hours. _'So he has a daughter, so he didn't tell me, I don't care. He told me when he was ready, and I accept it now, she doesn't change our relationship.'_ Rory stopped herself, she sat up; _' She made us stronger.' _

" Logan, I want to meet her." Rory made the decision. She was ready, she wanted to meet Noa. " Why not trying another dinner?" Rory didn't hear an answer. Logan walked into the room, his mouth foaming from the toothbrush he had in his hand; Rory giggled a little, he was wearing nothing at all except the pair of black socks that he had worn to work that day.

" Are you sure that you want to do that, I mean…." Logan's voice was slurred by the toothpaste foam as he spoke.

" I'm sure. I mean if she's going to be part of your life she's part of mine." Rory thought of the situation that her mother was going through with Luke and April, she was sad that Anna didn't accept Lorelei, like Eisley did her.

" Well Liam said that there was going to be a picnic for Noa's school on Wednesday, I was going to go, before I knew you were coming. It's at a nice park, do you want to go to that?" Being in a park with close to thirty little and their parents? Rory wasn't sure. "Eisley said that it's really just a chance for the kids to get to know each other before preschool starts so that the transition from just being with parents to being with a bunch of kids is easier."

" Um … sure. Why not, if I can't stand any of them I can pretend to be enthralled by the flowers, right?" Rory joked slightly.

" Right." Logan turned to leave and was at the door way when he turned and stopped again. "She'll like you, I'm sure of it." Logan tried to reassure Rory that everything was going to b fine with Noa. He wasn't sure if he did a very good job but Rory smiled and he felt that she agreed with him. Logan tried so hard to make her feel comfortable with the situation, but still Rory was uneasy with the whole thing.


End file.
